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"You are killing US
with YOUR jealousy"
|So far I have
enlightened the world with my thoughts on jealousy and
self-esteem. I want to clear up any misunderstandings that may
have some male people thinking that I am targeting only women
here. Jealousy and self-esteem issues also can imprison men as
well as women. No one is excused from real human emotions.
Emotions know no face, color, size or gender. There are two
victims here, not just one.
I also feel that I have neglected to reveal how the other party
involved in a relationship that suffers from jealousy or
self-esteem issues also suffers.
A relationship is a partnership. It is a commitment made between
two people, in that we will stand by each other through thick
and thin. Unfortunately, when it is a jealousy issue, both
parties are effected. We tend to focus on the person that is
trapped in the prison of worry, more than the other person that
is caught in the line of fire, partly because we need to free
that side first, then we can help heal the other.
Well I am now going to share that persons prison of hell as
To be accused and mistrusted by the one you love is a hardship and a
definite pain that one cannot bear for a long time. They
eventually either walk away or take a stand and call out to you,
(the attacker) to please stop; to please listen to what you are
saying and accusing them of.
Time after time they try so hard to reassure you that they do
love you and that they are not interested nor lusting for anyone
else. When they try to tell you that it is all in your mind,
they risk getting attacked more for defense. It is no doubt a
vicious circle. They become paranoid that no matter where they
are, you are already convinced that they have betrayed you in
some way. They wait for the shoe to drop. Some times it takes a
few days, some times it drops immediately. Never the less they
have to sit by and worry about when it will drop. They fear that
this time they will not be able to say the right thing. They
fear we will get even more depressed and irrational with what
they say to us. They begin to feel, "damned if they do, and
damned if they don`t". I personally hate that feeling. To think
that I myself would put someone in that position makes me want
to run away faster than Forrest Gump.
The neglect you put on that person through your jealous
insecurities is as real to them as your feelings of being
trapped in your prison of doubt. There are many scenarios as to
why jealousy rises up inside people, but for the innocent ones
that really do not ever do anything to trigger that fear inside
you, they are the innocent victims. People that have come to the
point of identifying their issues and have began to deal with
them, please remember the other person that is there with you.
They too need special attention, because they have shared your
fears and your pain. In a much different way, never the less,
they still ache. Jealousy can destroy so many good things in
ones lives. It can destroy our mate, through you, it kills the
one thing that you love deeply. The worst part about it is, that
you allow it. You must stop. Would you take a gun and shoot your
mate? NOT!! So then why are you allowing this emotion to torture
what is so dear to you? I repeat, as long as your mate is not
responsible for your fears or if they have made amends and are
trying to make things better, then please understand their pain
of being mistrusted. When they see you in pain and they are
being told it is because of them, they crumble. Your mate loves
you as much as you love them, and to feel they are responsible
for your trapped feelings eats them up inside. To see you smile
and feel totally loved makes them feel good about themselves in
that they are responsible for that smile. That is a good feeling
all the way around.
Also be careful not to fall into that habit of being unhappy
through jealous feelings. Understand where they are coming from.
Are you using them as a reason to get attention? Again, a wrong
kind of attention. If you cannot get the right attention you
feel you are lacking, then talk to your partner. Do not let
jealous emotions take over and confuse what you really are
trying to say. Any weakness in your mind is a direct route for
negative feelings to travel through. Once they get there, they
work very quickly at bringing you down. So be aware of what
exactly you are feeling.
I hope that I have at least opened up some thoughts in your
minds as to what else is going on in a relationship that is
plagued by jealousy. Both sides are equally being torchered and
killed. We need to LIVE, LOVE & LAUGH more often with each
other. Oh and lets not forget my favorite thing to
One thought from my heart to yours:
Say this outloud:
"I am always ready to risk.
I am always ready to learn.
I am always ready to test my strength, and so I put my worries
aside and just live!"
This article is free for republishing
Hello my name is Dorothy and I thought you might like to know a bit about me! I
was born and raised in Canada where I raised 4 great children and ran a business
for 23 years. I recently moved to Florida to continue my life and enjoy the
tropics. My experiences throughout my life have built my character and made me
an independent women. My issues regarding self-esteem have directed me towards
creating a wonderful website for all the women in the world!
www.WomensSelfesteem.com My goal is to simply put a smile on your face, add a
little sunshine to your day, and help you find the strength to deal with your
fears and tackle your weaknesses, but most importantly to help you find the
goodness that is inside of you, so that you can live a peaceful and happy life.
I have had many questions reguarding why my website is totally free. Well, it
isn't actually really free. The payment that I ask for from my members and any
women that frequent my site is that they feel better about themselves, and that
they use some of that gained strength to help other women who also suffer from
self esteem issues that women are faced with in daily life.